Filed under: General
All in all, a pretty good day of college football: the ‘Hoos won and the Hokies lost. Only an Alabama win would have made things better, but I predicted a blowout, so I was glad to see them fight a little bit.
Another Saturday of doing absolutely nothing down… I’m not sure what I’ll do next semester when there’s no college football to watch. In any case, back to the grind tomorrow.
Filed under: Future
After a little over a month in graduate school, it’s pretty clear to me that I do not want to be an academic. While certain aspects of the job appeal to me quite a bit (teaching, research/writing), others do not (not being able to find a job chief among them).
I listen to older grad students talk about the things they’ve gone through in preparation for their comprehensive exams (“I read a book a day, sometimes two, for a year.”), and then I hear about the perils of the academic job market, and I just think, “And how, exactly, have you not killed yourself yet?” It’s admirable–but I think I’ve discovered that I just don’t have that drive (or perhaps I should call it “that masochist spirit”).
It seems to me that history Ph.D.s are probably only outnumbered by J.D.s, except that J.D.s get out of school sooner and make a hell of a lot more money. The idea of spending another 5-7 years in school, just to get out and fight tooth and nail for a job where I’ll have little or no say over my geographical location, and where I’ll languish for a couple years as a non-tenure track instructor or–if I’m really lucky–as an assistant professor, quite simply does not appeal to me. I’d rather not have to wait until I’m pushing 40 to establish myself in a career. On a more basic level, I find the publish-or-perish mentality extremely off-putting, and I feel much the same way about departmental tenure politics.
I have had a lot of professors that I admire greatly, and there’s a part of me that longs for that academic camaraderie–working with other people who are “experts” in the field as well, but I think that’s mainly my intellectual snob side coming out. I think I’ll try to navigate some middle-ground, where I can remain “plugged in” to the academic community to the extent possible, while working outside it.
I may get a Ph.D. someday, but if I do, I think it will probably have to be for “enrichment” purposes, not career purposes (i.e., I won’t need it to do what I want, I’ll simply want it for my own intellectual gratification).
Of course, I pretty much knew all of this before I got here. It’s been affirmed, of course, but mainly I just thought it would make for a good post.
Filed under: Commentary
T.O. just can’t seem to do anything right this year. For probably the only time in my life, I’ll say that I feel a little bit sorry for the Cowboys. And finally, a publicist who’ll give it to ya straight:
“Terrell has 25 million reasons why he should be alive,” she said, in apparent reference to the three-year, $25 million contract Owens signed with the Cowboys in March.
That’s right, folks. Let’s be clear about one thing: this man does not play to win, he plays to make money. And that’s not only in football, but also in the game of life.
Filed under: General
I’ve decided to provide a pointillistic view of my day-to-day existence by telling you the following:
In my refrigerator/freezer
- string cheese
- cheddar cheese
- goat cheese
- heavy cream
- milk
- orange juice
- beer (Corona, Yuengling Black/Tan, Miller Lite, PBR)
- one Mike’s Hard Lemonade
- seltzer water, probably flat
- Diet Coke
- leftover chicken
- ketchup
- ranch salad dress
- lemon juice
- jelly
- eggs
- minced garlic
- bratwurst
- kielbasa
- margarine
- black olives that should probably be thrown away
- three packets of Arby’s sauce
- bag of ice
- popsicles
- chicken breast
On my desk (excluding the obvious: computer/printer/lamp/etc.)
- Breaking the Land (by Pete Daniel)
- Waiting Wives (by Donna Moreau)
- Selected Writings (by Karl Marx)
- The African American Church in Birmingham, Alabama (by Wilson Fallin)
- Virginia alumni magazine
- two disposable cameras with that read “Develop by 12/2003″
In my gym locker
- shorts
- two towels (one for when I’m dirty, one for when I’m clean)
- shoes
- shower sandals
- watch
- headphones
- shampoo
- body wash
- deodorant
Filed under: General
So, I’ve been in Alabama for a month (technically one month and one day), and I’ve learned a few things. For example, I learned today that one should never leave home without one’s umbrella. I left the house this morning, and it was sunny. I walked from class to the library around noon, and it was sunny.
I came out of the library at about 1:30, and it was not sunny. It was not sunny, it was not dry, it was not cool. I walked to class in the pouring rain, and about the time I got there, the rain stopped. Of course, today was also the first time I wore my Birkenstocks in about a week and a half, and you know how the insoles of Birks are when they get wet. Also not sweet. I was trying to run and I could barely walk.
I’ve also learned that these people do indeed take their football very seriously. RVs (I’m talking maybe a couple HUNDRED) start showing up on Tuesday before a home game, and these people do not mess around. I’m talking about portable satellite dishes with multiple TVs, multiple grills, tents, catered meals, the list goes on and on. They do it up right. I’m going to try to bring that enthusiasm back to Virginia someday. Maybe Virginia will have a decent team again by then.
Finally, I’ve learned that, while I still consider myself a Southerner, I’m not an Alabama boy anymore. I’m not sure what it is. I feel like an outsider. This isn’t to say that I’m made to feel like an outsider, or that people exclude me or anything–that’s certainly not the case. I just don’t feel “at home” here. I have family here, but I feel like there’s something that I’ve lost.
I don’t have an accent–though I did at one point. I’m not a Republican–though I used to think I was. I don’t go to church–though I was exposed at an early age to the Baptist faith. I do like country music and I do like barbecue, so there’s something there… but still.
Maybe I’ve been Yankee-fied. Some people here would agree with that. I don’t, really, but there’s something different about Virginia and the “Deep South,” even if I can’t quite put my finger on it. To be honest, part of the appeal of Alabama for grad school was that it provide me not only with an opportunity to study Southern history, but also to “revisit” my own past, to see if Alabama still resonated with me. So far, it doesn’t seem to.
I guess maybe that’s part of the reason I’m here in Tuscaloosa now, studying the history of the South, and searching for Southern identity in myself and in books.
